gosh, i feel so empty and i don't know what else to say..to make things short life has been a bitch lately, i've been a bitch lately..u've been a bitch lately and dat makes me a bitch ya noe.

anyways, vicky my special woman..ahahha.. i hope u had a blast on ur day( same day as ronaldo) *jealous* hahaha...

it's decided.

spent a week in college..
at first i was a little reluctant la and scared by the idea of going to russia so soon but at the same time i was so excited to enter college and experience a new chapter of life..so i was on tryouts for a week till i've decided to go ahead.
there goes my plans to pick back up my guitar lessons when i've already cutted and took off the nail polish..sad..
there, i met LOTS of people, seriously it's like a little big family dere.. to name a few.. jocelyn, the innocent one whom i shall start polluting her mind..hehe.. daya a.k.a the force who's erm.. proud of his muscles, randy the blond bloke who's really nice, jacky, the quiet one, justin, shopholic.. and lots more which im lazy to name..
these are the peeps who made my day brighter, like they've filled the empty space in me now that everyone have gone their separate ways..
now, i find that i love college more by the day even though it's tiring without caffiene..
the lecturers are awesome people which is sometimes bullied by us to take breaks during lessons..
practically everyone dere has the desire to be a doctor and stuff..
so, i'm taking a leap of faith and hope things will be alright even though i hate walkin back to the lrt in the evening with all those shyt assholes..f*** em..maybe i should consider takin up some defence classes when i go over to russia...hmmm..


miss mandy yeo lay nee, my beautiful wife...lol.. have a blast on ur special day :) i love u lots!!


"my heart is willing even if it'll hurt" so damn u..

tag

HONEST SECTION

Honestly, what color is your underwear?
orange.

Honestly, whats on your mind?
russia and him.

Honestly, what are you doing right now?
thinking bout life

Honestly, have you done something bad today?
Nope

Honestly, do you watch Disney channel?
yes, some movies are awesome

Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
dad.

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?
nope, i hate feeling dat way

Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?
being annoyed and peeps who dunno how to show respect

Honestly, do you bite your nails?
nope

Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment?
yes.. not just this moment but often enough so that i won't miss this someone that much

Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now?
who doesn't?

Honestly, do you have a friend you don’t actually like?
i don't know... even if i do , i won't call them my pals

Honestly, does anyone like you?
i don't know.

CAN SECTION

Can you blow a bubble?
yes

Can you dance?
it depends what kind of dance

Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?
NO

Can you touch your toes?
nope

Can you whistle?
nope

Can you wiggle your ears?
nope

Can you wiggle your nose?
nope

Can you roll your tongue?
nope.

Can you make a clover with your tongue?
NOPE!sobs


ANGER SECTION
What do you do when you’re mad?
cry, hear TONIGHT to make me myself feel better..

What’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad?
damage the toilet door with my phone charger

Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?
it applies only to the person who pissed me off

Do you swear when you’re mad?
most of the time, and i'm not proud of it.

TEAR SECTION

Ever really cried your heart out?
yeah

Ever cried yourself to sleep?
ahhh.. those times..yes..

Ever cried on your friend’s shoulder?
i don't remember if i did

Ever cried over the same sex?
yeah, for the right reasons

Do you cry when you get an injury?
when it really really hurts

Do certain songs make you cry?
YES..they break my heart in less than a minute but i still lurve em.

Do certain movies make you cry?
yes

HAPPY SECTION

Are you usually a happy person?
well, i joke around a lot, does that consider myself as happy?

What makes you the happiest?
doing stuff i wanna do at that moment.. i dunno.. it depends

Does being with your friends make you happy?
like DUH..
Do you believe in yourself?
y

Do you wish you were happier?Not really.
eah, i believe to fail..lol

Is being happy overrated?
nope.. dats all i wanted to be- happy

Can music make you happy?
yes..

LOVE SECTION
How many times have you had your heart broken?
many many times

Have you ever loved someone so much that you’d die for them?
yes.. don't we all feel the same when we're in love?

Has anyone besides your friends/family ever said ‘I love you’ to you?
like who??


HATE SECTION

Do you actually hate anyone?
used to, but it's pointless so i've let that go

Ever made a hit list?
huh?

Have you ever been on a hit list?
wtf is a hit list?

Are you a mean bully?
yeah.. i'm sure everyone can agree to that


SELF-ESTEEM SECTION


Is your self-esteem extremely low?
hey, i love myself alrite

Are you good looking?
er.. no comment

Do you wish you could be someone else?
why should i wana be someone when i can be me..


PHYSICAL SECTION

What is your current hair color?
mixture of brownish-red.

Current piercings?
ears..

Have any tattoos?
nope

Straight hair or curly?
straight

What shirt are you wearing?
purple

Pants?
black

Shoes?
no shoes.. in da hse


HAVE YOU EVER SECTION

Hugged someone?
yeap

Been on the phone until the sun came up?
no
Laughed so hard you peed in your pants?
no

Laughed so hard you cried?:
yeah
Got in a fight with someone?
yeah

LAST SECTION

Person you talked to in person:
family

Person you talked to online:
michelle

Person you hugged:
grandma :) every week

Person you kissed
grandma too..


RANDOM SECTION

Do you like surveys?
depends

Do you get along with your parents?
yes

Do you have mental breakdowns?
no


CURRENT SECTION

Current mood:
sad

Current Music:
one more time, tonight, scars, maybe

Current crush:
like i'll tell

Current thing I ought to be doing
sleep

Current windows open
ebuddy, facebook,blogger, youtube, guitar tabs


Current desktop picture
my rocker brother

Current book
a storybook on korean tales and egyptian history on great mummies.. yes, i'm tryin to educate myself and not bein so ignorant of the world

DID SECTION

Did you ever get into a fist fight in school?
no?

Did you ever run away from home?
no

Did you ever want to be a doctor?
maybe

Did you ever want to be a fire fighter?
no

LAST SECTION AGAIN

Last person you hung out with?
my parents

Last thing someone said to you?
i forgot

Last time you slept in all morning?
been doing that since the last day of spm except last night

Last thing you said out loud
shit, damn it


WHAT SECTION

What are you listening to?
nothing

What is the weather outside?
dark

What radio station do you listen to?
a variety of 5

What was the last restaurant you ate at?
forgot

What was the last thing you had to drink?
soya bean.. love em


What was the last movie you watched??
lots


WHO SECTION

Who is your newest friend you added to Facebook?
someone who happens to be my best pal in primanry skul

Who was the last person you texted?
fatfat loi

Who was the last person you took pictures of?
my brother

AKU TAK MAU!!

just returned from education fair, saw a few familiar faces and it looks like it's not form 6 for me after all. got enrolled for a medicine course and foundation class starts TOMORROW and i just got to know today.. mission to be a geek begins now for 7 months..

and i'll be flying over to russia in september..

now, form 6 doesnt seemed like a bad idea to me but neither do i want to waste time.

the whole thing takes up to 6 years to finish and i guess i won't be coming back often even during my term break.. sadness..

and it's still not sinking into me, still in the state of shock like wtf.. one minute i'm sitting there with the person and my parents and the next thing i know i'm registered to the course to 'try out' and see if i'm ready and is serious about going for it.

but i really don't know if i am up for it, if this is really the thing for me.. somewhere deep inside me tells me im nowhere near being close to that

it's the way you make me feel.

oh man, what am i gonna be doing with myself till results comes out besides rot at home??
soon i'll always be home alone in the mornings when school reopens and dat sucks.
the only thing i had to do now is tutoring(i know, unbelievable rite?) 3 kiddies who are all related to me.
don't think i'm allowed to work outside. uncle says it's a waste of time and i should be enjoying myself while i can before decidin what i want to do next. and i really don't know what else to do besides trying to adapt to a few changes in life.


hmmm..
i'm thinkin of picking back up my already abandoned and much loved guitar classes to expand my skills till i'm pro..hehe. or maybe i should join some sort of course on it..
only God knows how long it was since i cared for and touch my lifeless husband( which btw wasnt very long ago) and i bet the strings are rusty. in a dilemma cuz i'd be needing to keep my finger nails short and i am reluctant to cut it
a few more days to a new year, great. by then i'll have nothing much to look forward to. being a pessimist is so easy..dang..
but it'll be different this year cuz i won't be spending the last day of the year in sunway, attending watch night service.
this year it'll be spend in genting with grandma and aunt, having bbq again while waiting for the new year to arrive. fireworks in genting has got to be awesome.
and shyt, i gotta go for facial tomorrow..weeee...i'm so not excited. at the end of the day my face is gona hurt and look like some chicken backside.
anyway, happy new year to all. lotsa love too